


The Carmina of Spiritus

by Halfierra



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Adventure, Angst and Humor, Aura-Bond, Canon Divergence, Drama, Empathic Visions, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Modern Girl in Thedas, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Rogue/Mage, Romance, Sarcasm, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Soul-Searching, Work In Progress, Ye Be Warned - This Will Be Long
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2018-07-24 10:06:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7504228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halfierra/pseuds/Halfierra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hallie Manson is a loner artist from New York who is pulled from her life to start anew within Thedas. Her memory was wiped of her former life and she struggles to survive and find her place in a world that is decorated in utter chaos. </p><p>With the help of a man who is on the run and the Inquisition, will she rise up to be who she was meant to be? Or, crumble beneath the weight of the world?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue - Witch of the Wilds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally here! New chapter and new story but also the same story! I hope you all enjoy the prologue! Comments are welcome, I would really like to know all of your thoughts.

"It has been a long time, old friend," Flemeth spoke as his back was to her. She knew that he had heard her coming; that he had felt her magic and known the truth of it before she reached him. Yet, he still could not bring himself to face her. 

She watched as he pulled on his mask of a stoic stand and pulled his aura in to fit tight against him. He squared his shoulders and brought his hands together behind his back before turning to face her. As she expected, his expression was hardened to appear neutral. Ah, but she knew what lay behind that mask of neutrality. 

"They call you many different names now. I once knew you as Mythal, the bringer of justice," he replied, tone remaining completely void of any emotions. 

Flemeth's golden eyes pierced through his; searching the very depths that lay deep within his sorrowful soul. He was deeply troubled; clearly unsettled with the consequences of his actions that shook the world and changed it forever a millennia ago. A world he had fallen away from while he slept in Uthenera for a thousand years. He awoke but a year ago and now appears more lost than she has ever known him to be. 

Flemeth sighed and removed her gaze from him to look about the Fortress that lay before them. The snowy landscape provided much more truth to the cold revelations he has come to find in this last year. 

She returned her gaze back to him a few moments later. He was expectant for her reply, but continued with the patience she always known of him to have. He changed much since she last saw him. Though age does not come to him for being the few remaining Elvhen, he still looked much older and tired. He removed his hair and wore simple clothing, giving his appearance a much more humble look. Though his clothing to be of a simple nature, he still wore his wolf jaw amulet that sat just below his chest. 

She smiled. "Tis' true, I have taken on many hosts over the years that have granted me many different titles and stories to match." 

He eyed her curiously. He never once truly thought he would ever meet her again after she was murdered. Yet, here she stands before him. Her soul and aura completely intact, albeit in a new and aged form. He found it curious that she would pick a human as her host. Even more curious he thought, that she had allowed the effects of mortality to linger so long without searching out a new host. This body stands tall and proud, but also old and withered. Her hair completely white and skin wrinkled. Her body donning elegant armor with scales of deep red. 

Of all her unfamiliar features it was her golden eyes that had caught him; the truths that lay within them. Mythal always had golden eyes, to her they resembled her animal, her dragons, her spirit. 

Flemeth could sense his thoughts shift, she knew all the questions that he held. But one question begged for more importance: How? 

"You knew," he finally spoke. 

Flemeth's smile grew. He was always wise and quick to the catch.

"Indeed," she said. "I was presented with a vision before I was betrayed - two in fact." 

"The first showed me that the Evanuris betrayed me; plotted and planned my murder together," she paused to reflect on the memory. Her face grew dark as anger began to grow within her. She pushed it down before she continued. "I saw my death and their consequences." 

"And the second?" He asked. 

"In the second vision, I saw my survival and the cost of it," she replied.

He watched her for a moment, reflecting on her words before he spoke. "You chose to die then. In turn, allowing me to raise the veil and banish the Pantheon and the Forgotten ones together."

"Yes," she replied.

She saw as he worked his jaw, dropping his hands to his side with clenched fists. His calm demeanor slipped away as anger swelled within him. 

"Do you even realize what you have done?!" He roared at her. She remained tall and squared her shoulders while he released his fury of emotions on her. 

"What cost to your survival could have possibly been worth this?! The fall of our people?! They are slaves or hide in forests now! The elves are even treated as lesser and weaker beings by humans!" 

He took a shuddering inhale in an attempt to calm his anger. When he spoke again, he sounded broken. 

"The ones who still believe in the Pantheon have depicted them as gods. False deities to praise. They have forgotten who they once were and they have fallen so far," he began pacing and waving his arms erratically in the air as he spoke his remorse. "They live as mortals now. No longer remembering their own immortality, their own powers. Everything they believe in is from relics and half truths of a time long forgotten. They are empty shells of what they once were - they are tranquil and disconnected," he paused to take another deep inhale. "Half or more do not even possess magical abilities, and they all have been taught to fear magic... this is what we have become." 

Flemeth approached him now, sharing his remorse to how far their people have fallen from what powerful beings they once were. She lay a hand upon his shoulder and felt him shake. 

"Calm yourself. Not all is lost, Fen'Harel." 

When she felt his shoulder sink in defeat she stepped away. She shifted her body to face the fortress, her gaze falling upon the setting sun. She watched as shades of orange and pinks settled upon the fallen snow. 

"The cost to my survival meant the destruction of the world," she said. "The Forgotten ones lay in wait as the Evanuris warred amongst each other. The warring would have continued until we had all but completely destroyed each other." She turned back to face him now. His back towards her with his shoulders slumped and his head bowed. 

"Once we had completely destroyed ourselves, they would emerge and bring forth chaos and destruction along with them. Destroying everything in their path until the world went dark and devoid of all life." She saw him lift his head before turning to face her. She gave him a sad smile in return. 

"As you see, sometimes we must put the world before ourselves," she continued. "Our path was not one we would have willingly chosen for ourselves, but destiny has much bigger plans that even you cannot tamper with." 

He lifted his head and returned his stoic mask to his features, squaring his shoulders as he did. "I will remove the veil that I once lifted and bring back what was lost to our people. Even if it means I have to destroy this forsaken world to do so," he said. 

She lifted her chin at him, all friendly facade fading away as she looked upon her very lost and broken friend. "Then may the consequences be ever in your favor, Dread Wolf." 

She shifted into her dragon form and flew off into the sunset. Leaving her friend alone with his guilt and broken soul.

*

Flemeth approached the steps leading to Mythal's Eluvian. The mirror rippled power that sank down within each stoned step. The light blue hues that emerged from within the glass of the tall mirror danced along the stone walls of the cave in which it sat. She glanced at the tall stone dragons that trailed up the sides of the mirror in a guarded stance as she gripped the Dragon's amulet in her hands. 

She paused before the first stone step. Frustration and sorrow filling her soul of Fen'Harel's parting words. Her friend was so lost and consumed by his pain. He could not see what this world could be. She knew that nothing she would say or do would convince him that this was the right path. She would have her justice against the Evanuris for betraying Mythal, but not this way. As her friend, she too desired to lift her people up again and bring them back to what they once were. But not in a way that would destroy another world. 

Flemeth approached the mirror, she glanced at the bright hues that emanated from within it. The power within the Dragon's amulet thrummed against her fingers. She could feel the power that was placed within it. The power that she would combine hers with from a most unlikely ally. She recalled the memory of her encounter and their bargain. 

_"Her soul is needed in the events to come." Flemeth explained._

_The dark figure remained silent in thought. She knew he had his own plans for the outsider, but she was not in a position to object them. She could only guide the woman towards the right path and let her face destiny on her own._

_"If I am to aid you with my power to bring her here, then you must not interfere with my plans for her," he said. "She will gain remarkable power with your amulet to aid her and the time will come once your goals have succeeded that she will belong to me."_

_Flemeth smiled only slightly. He was ambitious and spiteful since the Hero of Fereldan had slain his previous form. Reguardless of his hidden agenda with the outsider, Flemeth knew she did not pick a weakling. The outsider was strong and Flemeth knew that she would be able to overcome him._

_"Then you enchanted the amulet with your powers so that I may enter her world safely to retrieve her?" Flemeth questioned._

_He paused before handing the amulet back to her. "Indeed," he said. "I will lay in wait for now. Once she has accomplished her purpose with you, I will emerge and claim her as mine."_

_Flemeth smiled, holding the amulet in her grasp. "Then I wish you well in your endeavors, but know this: the outsider will be much stronger than you anticipate."_

_He said nothing in return. Flemeth willed herself to be removed from his domain within the Fade. While she was uneasy combining her powers with his, he was her only hope in bringing the outsider here._

Flemeth brushed the tips of her fingers along the glass of the mirror causing a rippling effect to spread throughout the base of it before forming the images she wished to see. 

The girl was older now, her ashen hair was long and curled in waves down her back. Her world was much different than Thedas and far more advanced than Flemeth could have ever imagined possible before. The girl was small but her mind was strong due to her devastating trials growing up. She was once a broken person; lost within herself and unsure about her desire to continue. Flemeth understood her pain and loneliness as she had watched her parents murder when the girl was only five years of age. 

The girl grew distant and focused herself on studies, music, and dance. For eighteen years Flemeth watched her grow into a strong woman. The girl was lonely, but it was of her choosing. Even in this new world without magic, Flemeth could see the girls potential. She was sensitive to emotions and energies within her world which, in time, would reflect greatly within Thedas. 

Flemeth looked back to the amulet. The small dragon that was enchanted with power only needed one more effect to be complete. She pulled a dagger from her side and pricked her finger until blood came forth. 

Flemeth placed her bloody finger to hover above the dragon's eye, allowing her blood to drip and fill the opening. She watched as the socket began to bubble with a deep crimson red before hardening to stone. The essence of Mythal will lay within the eye of the dragon as a red ruby and as added power for protection. The girl would face many trials ahead and she would need any help Flemeth could afford. 

With the ritual complete, Flemeth placed the amulet around her neck. She glanced back up into the Eluvian. The mirror still projecting the girl to her as she moved about the moon lit streets. Flemeth smiled before stepping through. 

"The time is now, dear girl," she whispered, before being completely submerged within the girls world. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so some major changes have taken place. This chapter was the prologue. I'm diving into some detail of how Hallie came to Thedas. I have also changed the look of Hallie as well. You will all know soon enough what has become of her! Thank you everyone for your support and patience while I have redone this story!
> 
> You are all so amazing and it means the world! Please comment and let me know your thoughts on the Prologue, I would like to know if any changes have been good or bother anyone. All feedback is welcome and appreciated!


	2. The End Is Only The Beginning

_Aunt Mae,_

_I am writing you as I lay in my bed surrounded by candles. The power went out in case your wondering. Actually... more like my power got shut off - I was late on paying my bill. Which was also why I couldn't call you - phones dead. But, not to worry, Marty was kind enough to lend me money for the bill last night when he walked me home from the club. I don't have class tomorrow, so I will be working in the club and Marty made sure that he left a few gig openings for me to play the piano - it's the easiest way to collect tips and he knows that it eases my mind to play._

_Marty has become the closest thing I've had to a father figure since mom and dad died - I appreciate him and his guidance more than I can express._

_Anyway, I needed to tell you about today - the whole day. It's been off and I feel unbalanced within my energy. Maybe you can help?_

_This morning I rushed to ballet practice and attended my normal classes. After I got out - which was later than expected - my dance instructor posted the casting sheet for the academies annual New York production of The Nutcracker. This was when everything went off. It was my anxiety, I think, that triggered everything. I found out that the part I auditioned for - which was one of the group dancers in the opening number - was filled and I was placed in a solo number that is meant to be seductive and mysterious. My terms, not theirs. But, that's how I have always interpreted that role and personally I don't exactly fit the bill in my opinion._

_My instructor told me that I needed to push my limits and test my boundaries to truly see what I am capable of as an artist. She said that I have an edge to me that sets me apart and that "No one comes to the Ballet Academy in New York to remain as someone hidden in the shadows - you won't survive here that way." She could be right, except I have survived here for the last two years doing just that. But, after a long discussion that was a downhill slide for me, I told her I would give it a shot and try my best, regardless of how uncomfortable the role makes me feel._

_Anyway, I know that you haven't had the desire to come back since we celebrated my 25th birthday here last year, but I can make sure you have good seats for the show if you decide to come. The first showing won't be until November, so there's still a few months for all that._

_But, back to what triggered everything back up again - my anxiety. At least, I think it was my anxiety. My palms began to heat and tingle again when I went to the locker room after speaking with my instructor. I was the last one there, so I concentrated. I tried to do as you told me by pushing my energy from my chest, down my arms, and to my palms. They began to tingle more intensely after a few moments and then shake. It worried me when my hands began to shake, so I stopped and rushed out of the academy._

_I try to practice the morning rituals you sent me to help contain my own energy and block out others, but today I felt it crack and then fall away. I felt vulnerable when I left the academy and like a sponge - soaking up everyone else's emotions and energy as they passed by. Some of them terrified me - a few guys roughly passed me when I turned down the alleyway just before the street to my apartment. They let off terrifying energy - like they were watching and waiting for someone off guard to walk by. But, they left me alone and kept walking. However, I was on high alert after the matter._

_I kept walking and rounded the last corner to my complex when a woman wearing a deep red cloak spoke to me. She was standing under a street light when I noticed her. Everything cracked and fell away - all that I tried to protect and keep in. Her energy fell off of her in waves - it pushed and vibrated with ripples that went straight through me. Her eyes showed her lines and wisdom but were golden and intense. Her only words were "One can not learn whether they can fly if they do not first leap." then she smiled at me and walked away._

_When she left, the ringing and vibrations stopped. I ran as quickly as I could back home. What do you think that means?_

_I did some research - well more like digging for lore. Her words were eerily similar to that of a character from one of my video games. I know that sounds crazy - I'm not implying that a video game character came to life. I just related her words immediately to that character. When I looked into the book guides and the three game titles and cases I had, her words didn't exactly match up - incredibly close, but not exact._

_I'm not sure what to make of what I felt - her energy. It was powerful and almost like she knew I would have felt it. Anyway, I don't have class tomorrow, so I will try to have my phone charging at Marty's and call you. I want to know what you think of it all and I need your help to rebuild my defenses. Last time I was that opened I almost lost myself completely from picking up to much negative energy. I don't ever want to feel lost in someone else's emotions again._

_I love you, Mae. My laptop is dying so I need to send this out and I'll be in touch tomorrow._

_\- Hallie_

Hallie sat and stared at the email before sending it out and shutting her laptop down. The candle on her nightstand flickered in the dark, giving her some light within the studio apartment. The rest of the apartment was lit up by the city lights that shined through her window. 

She sat back against the head board and began to fiddle with the quartz crystal that hung around her neck. She felt the rough edges and smoothe sides of the crystal. Everything she felt today worried her. It was new and unfamiliar. She had felt energy from people before and often times would take in their energy and act as if it was her own. That hadn't happened in a long time, not since she learned how to decipher the difference between her own energy and the energy of another. 

Her aunt Mae had taught her everything. She never really began experiencing empathic abilities until after her parents died when she was young, so it was never something that was discussed or taught from her parents. It was left to her aunt to teach her what she needed to know. 

She never truly understood why she was the way she was. Her aunt Mae felt that it was a gift that ran through the women of our family for generations. Apparently she and her mother both had this "gift" but her mother had felt differently and hoped that Hallie wouldn't inherit it. She did, ironically, develop the symptoms after her mother had passed away. 

To her it felt more like a curse than a gift. She didn't feel normal, or what normal is identified as in a social setting. Today for example, she definitely didn't feel normal. She always felt odd and different and because of this she never really connected with anyone or established any long-term friendships or relationships. She was kind - for the most part - to others, even if a bit sarcastic. She dated here and there, but now since coming to New York she felt it would be best to dedicate herself to dance and musical art. 

Days like today made her think about home and what it would be like if she went back. After the encounter with the woman tonight and the role in the production, home sounded about as nice as pie. People here were strange and she half wonders every day when the time will come that she is robbed or jumped walking to and from home. 

Looking around her basic and bare apartment she understood why no one bothered to break in. She didn't have shit. That and maybe someone did break in and she never noticed. Her valuables lay in her ballet slippers, her phone, and her laptop. Not much to really steal here unless they broke in while she was home. 

Which was a terrifying enough thought that she no longer cared to entertain. She needed sleep and knew that she wouldn't get any if she sat in the dark and silence thinking about everything that could go absolutely bad. She decided to just count her lucky stars for now and switch thoughtful gears. 

Tonight she would practice meditating and her aunts way of protecting energy by imagining and creating a "zapping cocoon" is how she described it. Meaning she would push negative energy away and draw her own in by wrapping it up in an invisible and imaginary full body shell that "zaps" outside energy away. Keeping in only the light. Maybe it helps, maybe it's just a trick of the mind when you sit there and convince yourself that your all wrapped and protected. Hallie didn't know, she just knew it did something for her and that's all that mattered. 

She lay down flat on her back and began to breathe. Deeply in and slowly out. But it was louder somehow with her electricity out. She could here the streets at night much clearer now. Which was rather distracting. After a few moments of shifting and trying to begin again she decide to stuff it. She sat up with a sigh and opened her eyes. There was a shift of energy in her bathroom out of the corner of her eye. Soon after, the wave of energy hit her in the chest, so hard it almost knocked her back. 

The front door was locked, she always doubles checks the locks before settling in when she comes home. But the bathroom was one place she hadn't needed to go to yet. There was no light or electricity, so she didn't feel the need to use the bathroom unless she needed to relieve herself. This thought set her heart racing. Someone had been in here with her the entire time. She quietly got out of her bed and went to her purse, searching for the taser that Marty had bought her for protection. She took the safety lock off and hit the on button. 

The energy was strong, Hallie could swear it was the same energy from the woman earlier in the night. But they had gone in opposite directions. There was no way that woman could have come here and broke in before she made it home. Fear pulsed through her, mixing with the onslaught of foreign energy that came at her in waves from the bathroom. Hallie froze, unmoving, and staring at the closed bathroom door with wide eyes and terror. 

She didn't know what to do. The front door was to close to the bathroom to try to reach and fear kept her feet frozen in place. She will never get pissed at characters in the movies that died because they stood still while screaming in terror at the death coming straight for them. Because now she knew exactly what that feeling was. 

She knew she had to do something. It was odd and even more frightening that whoever was in her bathroom isn't making any noise or attempting to leave the bathroom. It's pitch black in there with the only light in the apartment coming from her single candle and the window. 

She needed to move - confront or flee. She needed to do something. She tentatively reached back down in her purse for her flash light. She didn't feel comfortable not having a hand free but she wasn't going to do anything without her taser and a light. 

She fumbled for a moment while searching through her purse and keeping her eyes on the bathroom door until she felt her flash light. She grabbed it and pulled it out, still without looking. She tried to feel for the button to turn it on with her thumb but felt nothing. She quickly glanced down to realize she grabbed her body spray and not her flashlight. 

"Shit!" Her eyes shot back up to the bathroom door after her outburst to check for movement or any indication she was heard. After a few moments of nothing happening she knelt down and quickly rummaged through her purse for the flashlight. When she found it, she turned it on and aimed it at the bathroom. 

She slowly tip-toed toward the bathroom, inwardly coursing with fear. Every limb began to shake and tingle the closer she moved. When she reached the door she stopped and stared at the doorknob. 

She made sure her taser was up and ready before quickly opening the door and shining the light through. 

The bathroom was dark, but completely empty. The energy she felt still pushed at her and crashed against her body in waves that intensified after opening the door. She took a deep breath in and turned around. 

She screamed when she came face to face with the same woman from the street corner. She lifted her taser to strike but the woman was quicker and grabbed her wrist and yanked it back down. Effectively disarming her of the taser and holding her arm in place.

"The fuck?" Hallie froze. Her heart pounded against her chest before the woman lifted her hand to Hallie's forehead and pressed against it with her finger.

"Sleep, girl." 

A sharp ringing hit Hallie's ears before everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It finally came - the next chapter that is. Already have chapter 3 started. It's a little on the rough side I think, I edited it a ton and restarted it more than once before deciding to post. But, here it is and I hope you all enjoyed it!
> 
> Any kind of review or comment of your thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for reading!


	3. Hallie - Out With The Old

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hallie awakens to insecurities, unfamiliarity, and a serious identity crisis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will still need to go through a few more edits. It was originally planned to be longer but I found that I wanted to split. :) 
> 
> Lately, it's been only me editing my work so I've been a little of the hesitant side of things. Chapter two will need some work, but for now I'm continuing on and will come back to it later. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. :)

She awoke feeling disoriented and heavy. Her body felt as if each limb and her core were filled with heavy weights that rooted her to the ground. Her head was foggy, as if she hadn't slept for days. Everything was... wrong somehow. Though she couldn't explain how - just that it wasn't right. 

"Good, you're awake," a woman spoke, her voice sounded old and frayed. She tried to turn her head toward the voice but a sudden throb in her temples stopped her. She closed her eyes; it was too hot. Everything felt sticky and slick from her sweat. 

She felt a soft hand place itself on her forehead. "Burning up again, I see. Your body is stubborn." 

A sudden cooling washed over her, instantly relieving her body of the heat. A contented sigh escaped her mouth. It felt good, the cold was like jumping into a icy river on a excruciatingly hot day. 

"I suspect you feel exhausted. You were quite the mess when you were brought to me," the older woman said.

"I was?" She questioned. She opened her eyes then, but kept them cast upward to the top of what she could only guess was a tent. 

"Yes. You were," the older woman replied. "When the clans hunters brought you to me your body was badly beaten. You had a high fever - for a while I wasn't sure you would over come it. You were also without clothing. Just... the amulet around your neck." 

She was beaten? And... naked? Instant fear of what may have happened to her began to spike. Before her anxiety could get the best of her the older woman spoke again. 

"I did thoroughly check over your body, you should know that you were in no way sexually violated. However, since you were unconscious, I did continue without your permission. If I were to heal you, I needed to know exactly what damage had been done. I hope you understand."

The woman's words soothed her anxiety. She was relieved to know that aside from being banged up, nothing further occurred. But, why was she without clothing?

"I apologize for the effects you may be experiencing. I had to cast a spell over your body to keep you at rest while I healed what I could. The side effects should wear off soon enough."

Spell? Why did that not feel right? Another thing that she felt but couldn't explain. Nothing felt like it should be. Everything felt new and different and off. She couldn't wrap her mind around it.

"A spell? As in magic?" She asked the woman. 

"Does that frighten you?" 

"Should it?" She replied.

The woman was silent for a moment, as if contemplating her next words. 

moments later the woman sighed. "That depends entirely on the mage and what kind of person they are or what purposes they use their magic for - among other things." 

"And what do you use your magic for?"

"Healing and protection. As the leader of the clan I must act as both the healer and protector," the woman replied.

she gave a stiff nod in response. she focused herself on the sun beating it's light and heat into the tent. The smells that surrounded her; lemongrass and other mixed herbs that she couldn't make out. she also got a faint smell of morning dew - which for reasons she didn't understand, brought her comfort. She couldn't recognize her surroundings or remember much of anything. She used her senses to bring familiarity to her.

She listened to the sounds outside of the tent. She heard voices, they were faint and muffled, but created life. Beyond the voices she heard the chirping of birds. As she listened she felt a warm tear glide down her cheek. She wanted to cry; curl up into a ball and cry. She had nothing else to familiarize herself with. Nothing within herself to know. Everything was gone, or never there to begin with, she didn't know. 

More tears fell down her cheeks and a soft sob escaped her. She heard soft cooing next to her and a warm finger swipe at her rogue tears. More just came to replace the water marks that were removed. She felt emotional pain, a longing for something that wasn't there. Like she was searching for something, she didn't know what it was, only that she didn't have it any longer. 

Her body began to shake with her sobs. How could it be that she could think coherent thoughts, speak, and recognize things - _know_ things, and yet... not have recollection of anything. Her past - who she was - it was there. She could feel it there, but it was like an impenetrable wall was in her brain; blocking her and denying her from access. 

"Let's sit you up." The woman's voice brought her mind back from the dark depths that it was roaming. 

She nodded and the woman assisted her by hooking her arms under her shoulders and lifting. When she managaed to get seated upright and remain stable a water skin was handed to her. 

"Drink," the woman said. "It will help."

She flipped the lid and took a swig, swishing the water around in her mouth before swallowing. Then chased it with a few large gulps. She placed the water skin in her lap and looked upon the woman who had healed and helped her. 

She gaped for a moment at the older woman's light brown markings on her face. They were beautiful and weaved intricate linework that branched out over her forehead and down her nose. She didn't know what she expected the older woman to look like, but what she saw was nothing should could have ever guessed. 

The woman's face was lined with age. Her hair was greying and pulled back. As she examined the woman's hair she noticed that the tips of her ears were pointed. She wiped her cheeks and stifled another sob.

"Are you... are you an elf?"

"Yes, and you are a human," the woman replied.

"But... that isn't right... is it?"

The woman clicked her tongue before removing the water skin from her hands. She stood then, abruptly and lifted her hands to pluck an herb that was hanging from the tip of the tent. She brought the herb to her nose and softly glided across her upper lip, inhaling it's sent. 

"Who are you? Where are you from?" The woman said. 

She tried to think, to remember, but came across that wall in her brain. She imagined herself banging on it, trying to break through. She couldn't break it. 

"Answer me, child."

"I... can't." 

The woman sighed and bent down, bringing the herb just below the girls nose. She followed the woman's actions and sniffed. She didn't recognize the herb but it was calming. Then she felt a tingling sensation before the woman's hand was place on her forehead. 

"A spell as been put on you," the woman said moments later. "You won't likely remember anything. It's old, complicated, and purposeful. This spell is not something I will be able to remove."

"Who would put a spell on me? To... forget?"

The woman shook her head. "I do not know, but whoever it was is the only person who can remove it." 

The woman removed her hand and the tingling subsided. Then the woman turned and bent down in front of a trunk. When she opened it, she pulled out fabrics and tossed them on the girls lap. 

"Pull yourself together and put these on." The woman stood and stared at the girl. "You will need help. Tomorrow, I will test your knowledge and see where you stand. Then I will determine what we do with you next. For now, food will be prepared by sundown. You will need to come out if you are to eat, then you may sleep here tonight." 

The woman didn't wait for a reply before removing herself from the tent. She caught glimpses of people shuffling outside and shadows passing by before the tent flap closed.

She glanced down at the clothes splayed across her lap. "Who was that woman?" 

A question she never asked because she was too wrapped up in her own turmoil. She will have to ask later and give the woman proper gratitude. Wiping her face once more, she steeled herself. She had to, if she was ever going to figure out what was going on with her. 

Slowly she managed to get out of the furs and onto her feet. Her legs felt slightly weak, but she could stand. It took her a bit, but she finally got the tanned leggings and green tunic on. The woman didn't give her anything for shoes, just two long strips of fabric that she had no idea what was used for, so she left them on the furs. 

Running her fingers through her hair was a chore. Her hair was long and tangled. She made a few small braids that she used to pull part of her hair back. The ashen color of her hair felt familiar, even working through the tangles felt familiar and it comforted her - even though she had mostly given up on getting them all out. 

After messing with her hair, she searched the tent and trunks for a mirror. She dug for anything to give a reflection, but came up empty handed. She used her hands to feel her face, her sharp cheek bones and slim jawline. Her eyes and eyebrows. They felt familiar and she could vaguely rememeber what she looked like. This helped, it brought her some piece of herself that she knew.

This was wasn't ideal, but it was what it was. She wanted nothing more than to flop back into the furs and cry while feeling sorry for herself. But that would accomplish nothing. She reached up and tore off one of the same herbs that the woman made her smell and tied it into her hair so that it lay along her collar bone. 

This was the best she could do for now. She turned to the flap of the tent and listened to the life outside. She could hear people talking, a fire crackling, and she could smell food. Her stomach gave a loud grumble. She was starving, the smell was enough to make her mouth water. She did one last pat down her hair and clothes before exiting the tent. 

When she emerged from the tent she was met with utter silence. Only the crackling of the fire and noises of wild life and the wind were heard. All movement, talking, and laughter stopped and nothing but eyes were upon her. She froze, unsure what to do or if she should move. Moments passed and people stared. She looked around, each of them with either armor or clothes similar to hers. Most had lined markings on their faces and all of them had pointed ears. 

A little girl attempted to run up to her but was quickly whisked away by a glaring adult. She felt nervous again and hesitantly pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. She wanted to cry and rush back into the tent. It felt safe there, but fear kept her feet planted. She felt weak in this moment. Mentally weak. Why are they all just staring at her? Some even glaring. She could feel hatred coming from one of the men on the far end of the fire pit. 

The older woman came out of one of the other tents and grabbed some food and brought it over to her. Bread and cooked meat. She took it hesitantly and turned to rush back into her tent. 

She heard the older woman shout something, but it was in a language that she was unfamiliar with. Then she heard the camp come back to life again outside as the camp resumed their evening. She stood there, food in hand and fought back another wave of tears. 

She quickly ate and curled herself back into the furs on the ground and lay there playing with the herb tied into her hair and sniffing it to keep her calm. This was not where she wanted to be. She wanted to go home, but she didn't even know where or what home was. Eventually, sleep finally over came her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of right now, Hallie remembers nothing of her former self. This includes her name, I do hope that it didn't get too confusing between the older woman and her. If it did, please let me know and I will revise it and try to make it more understandable.


	4. Hallie - In With The New

Darkness surrounded her, it engulfed her in every turn of her body, every blink of her eyelids. She could not see nor hear anything. But she could move, twist and turn her body. There was ground beneath her feet, that much she could feel. 

She took one step, pointed her toe downward slowly, testing for the continued solid ground beneath her. When she felt it, she lay her foot flat. She took more steps like that, slowly, testing. Worried that the ground would disappear beneath her and she would never know until it was too late because she couldn't see. She stretched her arms out, palms up to brace her body if she were to collide with something in front of her and took more hesitant, cautious steps forward. 

She heard a sound, soft and subtle, like a wisp of air. Then she heard someone release a breath, someone who was not her. She startled, stopped her movements and frantically searched through squinted eyes in the darkness. It was all black, nothing to be seen. 

"Who's there?" She called. She waited, listened, held her breath to make sure she wouldn't miss a single sound. No reply came. 

Where was she? What was this place? Why was it so dark? Too many questions and not a single answer would come to her. She inhaled through her nose and the sweet herbal scent of freshly mowed grass on a hot day flowed through her senses. 

The smells were there, but the vision, the feel of the heat was missing. Suddenly a small white flash quickly appeared in the darkness not far from her. She caught the sight before it disappeared and ran toward it. She quickly lost track of where the light came from, the darkness still surrounding her. 

"Please!" She begged. "Someone answer me! Where am I?" 

"...Hallie." a soft familiar voice whispered behind her, she felt the breath of the whisperer on her ear. She whipped around and reached out but found no one, only the same darkness. Hallie? 

"Who's Hallie?" She asked. "Please tell me, don't leave!" Tears began to fall as she tried to chase after the voice that was behind her. Only to become lost once again within the darkness. A loud crash sounded off in the distance, screeching and metal crunching of large objects colliding. She couldn't see the collision, she could only hear it. 

Her hands flew to her ears, trying to muffle the sounds that were igniting a flame in her chest. Panic coursed through her body and fear overwhelmed her. She heard a woman's scream and then the sounds stopped. She let out a shaky breath and bit back a sob as she lowered her hands from her ears. The moment the sounds stopped she felt a pull on her heart, a crack in her soul. Something or someone was taken from her, she didn't know who or why. But she knew that scream, she knew the voice of the woman calling her name.

Realization hit her then, she dropped to her knees as her tears flowed down her cheeks. Her name? Hallie. That was her name. She knew it was her name. The voice, she couldn't remember the person that the voice had belonged to. She knew her once, loved her once, but forgot her. 

Suddenly a brick wall appeared in front of her, large and dark grey. She wiped her face and stood. The brick wall loomed above her, taunting her, guarding her memories. She snarled at the wall, charged toward it and with all the force her body could will, she slammed against it. The wall remained in place. She banged her fists against it, screaming and crying. 

"Move! Move you piece of shit!" 

Why? Why would someone block her memories? What could have happened to provoke someone to block her entire life away from her. She punched and kicked the wall until her hands and feet shook and were drenched in blood. At one point she felt something snap in her left hand. She didn't care if they were the worst memories any person could have, they were hers! No one had the right to take them or keep them from her. 

Something pulled along her abdomen, like arms wrapping themselves around her as she thrashed against the wall. The arms were pulling her away, strong and almost comforting. But she ignored them, she didn't know who the arms belonged to, she didn't care. She wanted to tear that wall apart and whoever created it. 

"Hallie, stop!" A man demanded. His voice stopped her thrashing, his arms still held around her. She felt comforted at the sound of his voice but she didn't know who he was or recognized his voice. His arms tightened around her waist and when she attempted to glance back to see his face over her shoulder she heard a snap and the dream fell away.

Her eyes flew open and she sat up. "Hallie." Her name. She repeated it, over and over again worried that if she didn't, she may forget it. She jolted when a man rushed into her tent. The same man who was glaring daggers at her yesterday. His eyes wide and hand to a dagger on his hip, ready to attack. She threw her hands up in surrender, worried that he was ready to attack her. 

His eyes quickly roamed the tent before settling on her. She saw worry and alarm in his eyes before his features shifted back to the same glare as yesterday. He huffed a breath and then left the tent. She brought her hand to her chest in an attempt to calm her racing heart and let out a slow exhale. What was his problem with her?

Outside of the tent she could hear the bustling of the camp. She got a smell of cooked meat and her stomach growled. She can't hide out in this tent forever and she definitely didn't want to turn and run every time she left the tent. Yesterday was a shock to the system and it would seem not only to her. She didn't understand it and the only guess she could form was that it was because she was human. An outsider perhaps, though some looked at her with fear. She was definitely not something to fear, at least she didn't think that she was. 

The flap of the tent opened and the older woman from yesterday stepped in, bringing a bowl with fruit and bread in with her. "Taren informed me that you were awake. I had hoped that you would present yourself this morning, though after yesterday I understand your hesitation."

"Who is Taren?"

The older woman gave a slight smirk and placed the bowl in her lap before answering her. "Taren is both the clan's best hunter and warrior." 

"Oh... was he the one who came in this morning? I don't think that he--"

"No. He doesn't like that you are here." The older woman interrupted. 

Hallie nodded and began picking at the berries that were in the bowl. Well, there's that then. Barely here a day and already making friends. 

"What's... what's your name? You never told me. Though, to be fair I never asked. I apologize." 

The older woman looked at her and nodded her approval. "I am keeper Deshanna of clan Lavellan. You may refer to me as Deshanna. There is no need for formalities." 

"Deshanna, I wanted to thank you for caring for me and for your hospitality. It is greatly appreciated."

Deshanna smiled before she sat down next to the furs that Hallie was currently still wrapped in. Her long fingers reached out to trace along the herb that was tied to Hallie's hair.

"I think I remember my name. It's Hallie." Deshanna withdrew her hand and placed them on her lap.

"Oh?" 

"I had a dream last night, someone I once knew called out to me. There was... well I don't really know what it was but I feel like that person was important to me and then I lost them. I think I lost them to something tragic. I could only hear, I couldn't see anything until a giant grey brick wall appeared. I think... I think it's what is blocking my memories. I tried getting through it, but a man pulled me away and told me to stop. He also called me Hallie." 

Deshanna nodded. "I see. Who was this man who stopped you?" 

"I don't know. I didn't recognize his voice and when I tried to turn around to look at him I woke up."

Deshanna didn't say much about the man who was in Hallie's dream. She nodded and stood before she began picking different herbs that were hanging from the top of the tent. When she gathered the herbs that she needed she set them in a mortar and began grinding them together with a pestle. When she finished she stepped out of the tent and returned a moment later with a warm cup of water. She scooped the herbs out of the mortar and placed them is a small meshed pouch and dunked the pouch within the warm water. A few moments later she took a sip and handed the cup to Hallie. Hallie followed her actions and took a sip as well. Relief and relaxation immediately flowed through her as she swallowed the herbal liquid. 

"Today you will be tested in basic survival skills. I want to see if we can bring back some of that memory. Maybe something will come back to you, even the smallest thing would help."

Hallie nodded, she was grateful for the help but also worried about what would happen if she failed these tests. What would happen if she didn't? She was under no illusion that she was welcome to stay as long as she liked. She knew they would eventually send her on her way. For her, did it really matter in the end whether she passed or not? Whether she gained even an ounce of her memory back? Deshanna said her memory had been wiped, but with the grey wall in her way it feels more like her memory was blocked. Someone did that to her and only that someone could remove that block. So why bother with these tests? Her confidence was greatly lacking in the area of hoping that her memory would just gradually return. 

However, Deshanna has been nothing but kind and she did heal her, she did take her in, and she is trying to help. Regardless of Hallie's doubt in the aspect of gaining some recollection of her life back, she wanted to show her gratitude and felt in no position to deny Deshanna's way of helping or her tests. 

So she nodded and accepted testing her abilities. Maybe Hallie would surprise herself, she is no longer a child and somehow knew that she was much older than a teen. So, maybe habits die hard regardless of having the memory of doing any of them. She didn't feel helpless or useless. And she didn't feel like she was stupefied with her recent lack of memory. It was a spell meant to make her forget her past not revert her mind and body back to a helpless babe. Not only that, but these tests can also greatly help her when they do send her on her way. She can learn their way of doing things and since they appear to be more nomadic in their ways.

Her thoughts were interrupted when a younger female elf entered the tent. She was shorter than Deshanna, possibly the same height as Hallie and same size in body. Hallie was short and small, even the clothes Deshanna had given her felt loose. The younger elf's hair was cut short and she had a few small braids that hung loosely in her short dark hair. She wore leathers, but they seemed tight and skin peaked out in certain areas that were meant to allow quick movements. she also had markings on her soft and kind face, though the linework was much different from Deshanna's 

Deshanna turned to the younger elf and waved her closer. "This is Asharra, she is my first of the clan. Meaning, she will one day take my place as keeper. She is a mage, like me, but she is also trained in hunting. She will help you with survival tasks and then report the results to me. She will help you with cooking, identifying plants, and hunting. These skills you will need, I have hope that you already have some knowledge in these areas but she is prepared to teach you if you do not." 

Deshanna turned to Asharra. "Asharra, her name is Hallie." 

Asharra slightly dipped her head to me. "Still in bed I see," she said, with a hint of jest in her voice. "I am glad that you are well. I was the one who found you, well, Taren and I found you. Though, he was rather reluctant to bring you here. Keeper Deshanna informed me of the spell that has removed your memories. She asked me to aid you so that you may have the strength to survive on your own, I am happy to oblige. I would keep that spell on you between the three of us though. Some of our people are uneasy with a human in the clan and hearing about your ordeal may worsen their standing." 

"I understand."

Deshanna clicked her tongue and grabbed the cup and bowl of food that was only partially finished from Hallie's lap. "Time to begin, Hallie." 

Deshanna left the tent and Asharra turned to follow. "I'll be out here when you're ready, Hallie," she called over her shoulder before completely leaving the tent. 

Hallie looked down at her legs still wrapped in the furs that was her bed and sighed. "Well... fingers crossed then."

She got up, fixed herself up as best she could and headed out of the tent to find Asharra and begin her tests that she would most likely fail.


	5. Hallie - What a World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! It’s a short update but I’m back. The next updates will be much longer but due to a long hiatus on my part I want to gradually work my way back into it all. Thank you everyone for sticking with me here!

Asharra smacked Hallie's stomach, forcing her to suck in, then pulled her shoulders back. "Elbow up, inhale, then release," she instructs Hallie. Hallie does as she is told and releases the arrow. It flew this time, still missed the target, but at least it went somewhere and with force to it as well. 

Hallie felt some pride within herself at finally shooting the arrow. That pride she felt quickly washed away when she turned to Asharra and saw her shaking her head in disappointment. Well... at least she got somewhere. 

In her defense, the sun was bright and hot in the clearing they were shooting in, and there were so many trees all around them. Which really didn't help her defense because even with all the trees she hadn't manage to hit a single one.

"I think it's safe to say that I was not a hunter."

Asharra looks her up and down, hands on her hips. "That much is obvious; look at you." Hallie gaped at her as she watched Asharra's arm move up and down, gesturing to Hallie's body. "You're tiny for a human adult. Sure you have lean muscle and you are in shape; you move gracefully like a rogue would. But you lack refinement. Greatly lack refinement and you hesitate. We're not even shooting at animals yet and you hesitate." 

"Well... I don't like the idea of killing, Asharra. That's what the point to hunting is."

"Yes, but that's not the only point." 

"Yes, yes. Survival. I know," Hallie replied, waving off Asharra. 

"And you completely failed in identifying herbs and plants. Aside from the Dandelion that you plucked and ate - which was rather disgusting." 

"Well, nothing looked familiar!" 

"See? You completely lack survival skills. How do you plan to stay alive? How have you _managed_ to stay alive? I swear, if you didn't significantly lack in noble graces I'd believe that you were of the helpless Orlesian nobles. Raised to have others do for you rather than learn to rely and take care of yourself." 

"I would find that highly offensive if I knew anything about Orlesians. I don't though, so your words have no effect on me."

"Ugh, you're impossible," Asharra replied, rubbing her temples.

Suddenly Asharra took the bow from her hands, got in position, pulled the arrow back, and fired. Hallie watched the arrow fly and land swiftly within the chest of a rabbit. Hallie gasped as Asharra smirked and rushed off to collect her kill. As Asharra was returning, Hallie was frozen with heartache and sympathy as she saw the rabbit hanging from a hook that was tied to Asharra's pack. 

"This is survival, Hallie. You must endure and become accustomed." 

Asharra strode past Hallie, she didn't follow immediately as she was staring at the place the rabbit came into contact with the arrow that killed it instantly. 

"Hallie, we've got a lot more to collect before sundown," Asharra called over her shoulder. Hallie was in for it, she knew she had a long ways to go and she would need to toughen up. This was apparently life, this was the way things were. Though, she couldn't imagine feeling the way that she did if this was the life _she_ had. Maybe her memory loss changed her, or maybe she was some rich and snooty noble that relied on servants or slaves. The thought of having slaves or servants left a bad taste in her mouth. Neither lifestyles seemed to match her. 

They spent the rest of that afternoon hunting. Hallie made one shot but her arrow didn't make a kill and Asharra had her take a dagger and slit the poor creatures throat to end it's misery. When she did it, her hands shook and she cried while holding the wailing rabbit and watching it's life drain from it's eyes. Asharra spoke something in her language to the creature when Hallie made the kill. It didn't help Hallie feel better, but she did respect the sentiment. It would seem the Dalish - as Asharra and Deshanna have informed her all elven clans were labeled as, among other things that were less respectful - respected the wildlife; all life for that matter. Or, clan Lavellan did. They never took more than they needed and they never took a life that didn't need to be taken. They also always give their killings words of passage for the spirit of the animal. 

When Hallie's emotions came down a notch or two, she asked Asharra what the words meant. Asharra said that they meant "safe journey" for the spirit to enter the fade safely. That was another new concept that Hallie asked about. Asharra looked at her in shocked before she explained. "The fade is the spirit realm, it is separated from this world by the veil. Mages have a connection to the fade, that is where they pull their magic from. It was said that the veil was once nonexistent and that the fade and the living world were once one. The ancient elves called the Elvhen were immortal during that time and all were mages who used magic freely. But the elvhen gods, the pantheon, warred amongst each other. They were eventually all tricked by the god of rebellion Fen'Harel and sealed away from the world when he created the veil." 

Hallie took in her words, she tried to understand, but it was all confusing to her. She didn't understand it. Asharra looked at her then, "I don't expect you to know elvhen history. You are human after all, but I am surprised you were not knowledgeable of the fade. Perhaps Deshanna could tell you more."

Hallie nodded, confused. _How could everything feel so strange? So different to me? Nothing seems to fit right._ Her stomach began to drop, suddenly Hallie felt sick. Wondering about everything she has been told. She felt like a child, a new born, needing a hand to hold, words to be taught, life to live. 

“Hallie...?” 

Jolted out of her thoughts, she gazed up at Asharra.

“You know these are not truly tests?”

Confusing. “What do you mean?”

Asharra sighed. “Deshanna... well she is cautious yes, but she knew you were coming. How? I do not know but she knew. The tests were placed to calm the minds of our clans people. They are wary, confused, and do not trust an outsider to just make herself at home among us. We are friendlier to humans, yes, but... Desharra is using your failure at survival as a means to justify your stay with us.”

It made sense. At least... she wanted to think it made sense. Nothing made sense to her. Everything was jumbled, a mess, confusing. Nothing fit right. She didn’t feel right. Everything felt wrong beyond comprehension. Hallie decided to survive she will follow their lead, to survive she will lay low, keep quiet, and learn. Learn everything she could and perhaps one day... one day she would leave and find her own place. Perhaps one day she would find the answers she so desperately needed.


End file.
